SCOUTED predict the Premier League

As the season kicks off again, our in-house team make some bold claims.

As the new Premier League season is upon us, we thought we’d get the SCOUTED team to predict some of the key narratives of the campaign to come – all with the typical youthful twist, of course.

We did it last season (on our new defunct Patreon) to differing success: some were onto the predictable dominance of Haaland, another said £110 million man Moisés Caicedo would be the most improved player, yet none of us got got a relegation team right.

Who’s predicting? Tom, the big boss; Jake, the narrative man; Stevie, the Aussie, and Llew, the Cymro. Phil and Joe couldn’t do theirs, unfortunately.

A little bit of housekeeping first: our Young Player of the Year criteria only includes players born in 2001 or later. Furthermore, our definition of a “breakout player” is someone who has yet to play 1,000 Premier League minutes, ideally not a new signing either.

Anyway, enough of this bluster, here’s our predictions…

Tom Curren is our founder and lead editor. He’s the one with the overarching overview of everything we do, steering us in the right direction. He described himself as a “village idiot” in the draft for this. You decide if he is.

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🏆 Champions: Manchester City

Adding Joško Gvardiol to their menagerie of monsters will overcome City’s attacking unit being very slightly diluted. They’ll score less but concede about six goals all season or something utterly stupid.

4️ Top four: Arsenal, Liverpool, Manchester United

Arsenal have added a lot of height, power and flexibility. Liverpool are going to concede two goals in every game but score roughly one billion. United lack the adaptability of Arsenal and City but Ten Hag’s project will progress - they’ll still feel better than last year somehow, even if they finish in a weaker position.

✈️ European contenders: Newcastle, Brighton, Aston Villa, Spurs, Chelsea

Newcastle are going to be even more tenacious and physical but the changes in officiating will hurt them - try wasting time now ya bastards. Brighton and Villa have put together two of the most exciting attacking units in the league: Brighton will finish first of the two if Caicedo stays; Villa will obliterate teams, especially at home, but Emery-isms will creep in eventually.

Spurs will be squishy but finally have a cohesive identity in possession that won’t make the nearby bottle of Tesco bleach look like an appetising half-time beverage. Chelsea will be fast and exciting but have managed to end up with a shallow core despite signing most of Europe, and Pochettino has to prove he’s kept up with how the league has changed tactically since he left.

⚠️ Relegation battlers: Everton, Fulham, Nottingham Forest

Everton still need a nine whose legs aren’t held together with duct tape, but wily Dyche will pull them through. Fulham over-performed last season and will revert to the mean. Forest will survive by the skin of Morgan Gibbs-White’s teeth…again.

🔽 Relegated: Wolves, Sheffield United, Luton Town

Wolves are an absolute disaster. The Blades had a midfield that looked like it could pull them through, so naturally they sold it. Luton’s biggest contribution will be vibes and an insufferable torrent of social content about the entrance to their away end.

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⭐ Player of the Year: Trent Alexander-Arnold

I think Trent’s adventure in the centre of the pitch will contribute to Liverpool leaking goals, but he won’t be being skinned one-v-one every week so punters won’t notice; at the other end, he’ll be dropping whipped balls from deep onto Darwin’s noggin like a prime David Beckham. One of my favourite players in the league and I can’t wait to watch him this year.

👼 Young Player of the Year: Bukayo Saka

The guy goes up a level every year. He’ll rise to the Champion’s League challenge and bring that level to his domestic outings, too.

🚀 Breakout player: Carney Chukwuemeka

Christopher Nkunku’s start to life at Chelsea was foiled by a pre-season pitch apparently transported to the modern day via the Battle of the Somme; it looks like Pochettino will go for Chukwuemeka in his place. A three-month run in this team will see him firmly in the picture for Jordan Henderson’s England spot, imo.

🦶 Top goalscorer: Erling Braut Haaland

D’uh. I mean it’s not that obvious, because Harry Kane could decide to deliver a politely angry goodbye tour, but it’d be much funnier if he was in Bavaria next month. Dark horse: literally anyone Trent Alexander-Arnold decides to aim passes at.

😎 Best signing: Jurriën Timber to Arsenal

This guy is cash money. Micky van de Ven and Axel Disasi are less cash money, but cost more cash money; Edu Gaspar has played the market like a fiddle with his right hand with a spatula in his left. Timber is the answer to Zinchenko’s porcelain legs, but also to moving Ben White inside when William Saliba needs a rest. Arsenal needed to raise their floor and Timber does that. Some might say he’s the raw material needed to build a floor if that floor was to be made of wood. Crushed that one, move on

💰 Best-value signing: Zeki Amdouni to Burnley

A super exciting young goalscorer working under a super exciting young coach. The Premier League will be a huge step up for a guy who’s never experienced competition stiffer than the Europa Conference League, but it’s hard to ignore the value Burnley squeezed from this deal. In a striker market that is quite literally on fire, Amdouni cost the equivalent of a packet of Wotsits.

🤔 Most improved player: Dele Alli

I’m rooting for him. It’d just be wonderful to see him back to his best for a team who genuinely need him. And in a less emotional sense, Dyche’s direct style could suit him: as long as he’s fit, focused and firing.

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❌ First manager to lose job: Gary O’Neil

Probably won’t be his fault. Nice chap.

😔 Disappointment of season: Bournemouth

Only in the sense that I think people are expecting them to be immediately successful because they’ll be sexy and fashionable, but it’ll take them a while to get as fit and cohesive as Iraola needs. Upper bottom-half, imo.

🤯 Bold prediction:

Kai Havertz will be fucking incredible.

Jake Entwistle is a wise head on young shoulders, a sort of advisor in role now given other commitments but much of what we’ve done is built upon the foundations he helped lay. Another Arsenal fan, so keep that in mind.

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🏆 Champions: Manchester City

The first team to win four consecutive English top-flight titles. I doubted them last year. I won’t make the same mistake again.

4️ Top four: Arsenal, Liverpool, Brighton

I think Mikel Arteta’s side will push City even further and Liverpool’s disregard for Europa League football will see them reclaim a top four spot. Their attack is absolutely stacked and although high-scoring games at both ends may be common, I think they will come out on top in most cases. As for Brighton, I’m being bold. Perhaps qualifying for the Europa League will work against this prediction, but in a league that is putting greater emphasis on one-v-one battles, the Seagulls have built a front line capable of winning any duel. If Mohammed Kudus arrives, I become infinitely more confident in this prediction.

✈️ European contenders: Newcastle, Manchester United, Spurs, Chelsea, Aston Villa

Newcastle, Man Utd, Spurs, Chelsea, Aston Villa. The combination of Man Utd’s lack of depth with Erik ten Hag’s unwillingness to rotate will see them slip down the league. I expect Newcastle will do big things in cup competitions this season but falter in the league as a result. If Harry Kane stays, you cannot rule out Spurs - and a reminder that Yves Bissouma was the Moisés Caicedo last summer, more on that below. Chelsea’s squad is still very new and Nkunku’s injury is a huge blow while Aston Villa could as easily finish in the top four as they could bottom half. At the end of it all I expect to see Unai Emery lifting the Europa Conference League in Athens.

⚠️ Relegation battlers: Nottingham Forest, Fulham, West Ham

Not Bournemouth, I hope. I love their recruitment and clear plan. Gary O’Neil was replaced in an instant and the Cherries have been signing fascinating players even before Andoni Iraola’s arrival. However, their hyper-intense pressing is volatile and the Premier League is a cruel mistress. The same applies to Vincent Kompany’s rebrand of Burnley. Nottingham Forest, Fulham, Wolves and West Ham are in for a fight.

🔽 Relegated: Sheffield United, Luton Town, Wolves

Sheffield United, begrudgingly. The Blades’ recruitment strategy is another that intrigues me but losing Iliman Ndiaye - especially when they expected to keep him - is a fatal blow. Luton Town and Wolverhampton Wanderers will join them in the Championship in 2024/25.

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⭐ Player of the Year: Bukayo Saka

After moving into the Mohamed Salah bracket of consistent, elite output from out wide in 2022/23, Saka is ready to make a claim for the Egyptian King’s throne.

👼 Young Player of the Year: Bukayo Saka

Yes, he was born in 2001 and will be 22 years old in September. Mind-blowing. Haaland did the Premier League Award double last season; incredibly, Saka’s has two more opportunities to match the feat.

🚀 Breakout player: Julio Enciso

Julio Enciso fits the criteria so I have to pick him. Now donning the No. 11 shirt for Brighton, he was the only player with 600+ Premier League minutes last season that averaged 2+ shots on target per 90. The Paraguyan is a Puskás-nominee generator and his ability to consistently create shooting opportunities for himself reminds me of Cristiano Ronaldo.

🦶 Top goalscorer: Erling Braut Haaland

Harry Kane, if he stays. Erling Haaland if not.

😎 Best signing: Harvey Barnes to Newcastle United

£38 million for a pacy, direct wide-forward entering his peak years is great business. I have banged the Barnes drum since profiling him for the Scouted Football Handbook and I believe he will thrive in the high-intesity, suffocating style of play Eddie Howe has instilled at St. James’ Park - he’s made for those trademark European nights.

💰 Best-value signing: Anis Ben Slimane to Sheffield United

Despite suggesting the Blades will go down, the Tunisian is going to turn heads. At £2.3m, they will making a heft profit whatever their fate.

🤔 Most improved player: Yves Bissouma

An injury-hit season has wiped the collective memory of his dominating Brighton displays. The swagger that saw him laugh in the face an Arsenal team he helped dismantle - at the Emirates! - will return this season.

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❌ First manager to lose job: Marco Silva (Fulham)

Julen Lopetegui was my pick but he’s already gone. I think Fulham might implode next; Marco Silva will rue rejecting that Saudi offer this summer

😔 Disappointment of season: Phil Foden’s minutes

You might call this a cop-out, but despite the fact that Foden will be wonderful every time he plays for Man City this season, it just won’t be often enough.

🤯 Bold prediction: Bournemouth become mini-Brighton

Echoing my bold Brightin top-four prediction and the thoughts I discussed about the Cherries chances of survival, I believe Iraola’s side could have a Bielsa / De-Zerbi-like impact on the league. Leeds United finished 9th in El Loco’s debut PL campaign and RDZ is about to lead Brighton on their first-ever European tour. Maybe a top 10 prediction for Bournemouth is not that bold, so let’s say top eight.

Stephen Ganavas is our heartbeat, the non-stop, do-it-all engine in the middle of the park. He doesn’t really have a Premier League club that he properly supports, as he’s a Juventus fan, so this is a faaairly netural take.

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🏆 Champions: Arsenal

I simply have a feeling. Declan Rice in should be massive in terms of their midfield stability, Kai Havertz adds top end quality and versatility to the attack, and Jurriën Timber was a high quality, great fit and superb value signing to boost the defensive stocks.

The margin for error will be tiny, but I feel like they are going to be right on it. Adding one more midfielder before the end of the window to go with David Raya would be a nice icing on the cake to help them battle it out on all fronts.

4️ Top four: Manchester City, Spurs, Manchester United

Manchester City are Manchester City. Don’t need to say much more. Joško Gvardiol will be an intriguing watch to see how he adapts to Guardiola’s style, but he seems a very natural fit. Kovačić should do well too, although I feel like Gundogan’s departure will be felt and potentially cause a slight regression that gives Arsenal a look in.

For Spurs, I won’t say I am completely enthused by their transfer business, but I feel like they have so much internal improvement to do under Brother Ange — simply one of the best coaches in the business, in my humble opinion.

I think another year of stability is coming for United. They’ve addressed some needs but just feel like they need a bit more to shoot up towards title contention, especially if Rashford gets injured. They look a little light on outright firepower for me.

✈️ European contenders: Liverpool, Brighton, Newcastle

Liverpool are in transition: that seems pretty clear now. They’ve still got enough to be thereabouts, but I do worry about their midfield mix even if they get Lavia in.

Brighton are gonna be right there again this season, with or without Moisés Caicedo. They’ve clearly got one of the best managers in Europe at the moment in Roberto De Zerbi, and the club are backing him in the transfer market with some very nice signings like João Pedro… and potentially Mohammed Kudus

⚠️ Relegation battlers: West Ham, Everton

For me, there’s a three-way battle for one spot to join Sheffield United and Luton Town in the relegation zone come the end of the season: Everton, West Ham and Wolves.

West Ham have lost their captain and best player and are scrambling to replace him with the Moyes archetype; big, physical lads that don’t want the ball. In saying that, the club hasn’t even officially signed the players concerned yet other than Edson Álvarez. Deals for Scott McTominay and Harry Maguire are still not yet done. Concerningly, there’s now a chance that Lucas Paquetá could also be on his way out. If things go wrong and Moyes gets sacked early, I pray for whoever has to replace him.

And then there’s Everton. Their financially stricken and embarking on a season of Sean Dyche sufferball. Arnaut Danjuma should fit the style well, Jarrod Branthwaite has returned from a loan at PSV and should bolster that area of the pitch after the departures of Yerry Mina and Conor Coady, but there are big questions over whether that will be enough.

🔽 Relegated: Wolves, Sheffield United, Luton Town

Wolves are a mess. They’ve signed a coach in Gary O’Neil to come in two days before the season starts. They’ve lost Rúben Neves, Nathan Collins, Conor Coady and Raul Jimenez. They’ve not brought in much of substance that they didn’t already have last season apart from Matt Doherty. Fábio Silva comes back from loan as an option up front, but I remain unconvinced from the numerous times I’ve watched him at youth international level.

For Sheffield and Luton, it’s just hard coming up to the Premier League, isn’t it? Sheffield United have lost two of their most important players in Iliman Ndiaye and Sander Berge, while Luton are massively punching above their weight just being here, and clearly aren’t looking to mortgage their future by going after big signings.

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⭐ Player of the Year: Erling Braut Haaland

He’s gonna score another 30, isn’t he? You put him in this City team, it’s almost a guarantee that if he’s fit, he’s going to be around that mark for another decade. (Full disclosure: Stevie had Harry Kane for this initially.)

👼 Young Player of the Year: Bukayo Saka

Don’t think I need to elaborate too much here. The (very) obvious candidate.

🚀 Breakout player: Evan Ferguson

Probably a bit of a snoozer pick, but he only has 971 minutes of Premier League experience, so I’ll go with Evan Ferguson. Brighton are going to be playing a lot of games, and he is going to get plenty of minutes, while I think the broader community has come to understand that he has the makings of a outlier number nine at just 18 years of age.

🦶 Top goalscorer: Erling Braut Haaland

As above. (Again, full disclosure: Stevie had Harry Kane for this initially.)

😎 Best signing: Jurrïen Timber to Arsenal

We saw what happened to Arsenal when William Saliba went down with injury late last season. Arsenal needed another elite level defender to come in to ensure that downturn in form didn’t happen again. They got that in Jurrien Timber, and it helps that they did it at a great price too.

💰 Best-value signing: Zeki Amdouni to Burnley

Given where the striker is now, I think Burnley did incredibly well to get someone as good as Zeki Amdouni for around €20 million. He absolutely exploded last season, should have lots of fun playing in a Vincent Kompany team, and brings so much versatility not just with his position but stylistically. I’m buzzing to see how he gets on in the Premier League.

🤔 Most improved player: Any Spurs player

I spoke earlier about internal improvement and I mean it — Ange goes places and quickly has players that once looked like also-rans looking like stars. For Spurs, I think Pape Matar Sarr, Yves Bissouma, Pedro Porro and Cristian Romero could all take massive strides under Postecoglou.

But as a Richarlison enjoyer, I am extremely interested to see what Ange does with him, given his admiration for really aggressive pressing forwards as we saw with Daizen Maeda at Yokohama F. Marinos and Celtic.

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❌ First manager to lose job: David Moyes (West Ham)

It will go one of two ways. He’ll get his monster athletes in and go back to old-school MoyesBall and do well, or it will be a complete disaster and he’ll be gone by October. I lean towards the latter.

😔 Disappointment of season: Chelsea

I will believe they are back when I see it. Until then, I am a doomer. I think they were relying on Nkunku to be a major provider of goals and I worry big time about the outright goal-scoring firepower without him unless Mauricio Pochettino can get Raheem Sterling firing again or Nicolas Jackson can properly hit the ground running.

Remains to be seen what will happen in midfield too — I think missing out on Caicedo would be painful, but if they can get that done they would move up in my estimations a touch. For me, for now, they miss the European places.

🤯 Bold prediction: Bournemouth to finish top-half

New exciting manager in Andoni Iraola. A collection of interesting additions in Milos Kerkez, Max Aarons, and Alex Scott… there’s just immaculate vibes going on down there. I’ve not seen Iraola’s teams play, but I hear and read great things — and these outside the box attacking managerial appointments generally tend to be pretty good.

Like Stevie, Llew Davies is a jack-of-all-trades. When he isn’t updating his Interesting Transfers spreadsheet, he’s watching the players, editing the pieces, making the graphics, doing the tweets, swearing in the WhatsApp chat, the whole shabang. He’s another Arsenal fan. Apologies for that.

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🏆 Champions: Arsenal

You have to have a bit of hope, eh? The hope for Arsenal would be that they and Manchester City are on differing paths. The former are still climbing the mountain, fuelled by the long stint then big stumble of last season, while the latter are passing them on the way back down, needing to muster the energy to go back up again. Proper European football is a big ravine to cross for the Gunners, but their squad is bigger and better than ever before.

4️ Top four: Manchester City, Liverpool, Manchester United

I think Liverpool will be very competitive again next season. We saw it in the final months of last season. Their mismanagement of their midfield situation – at the time of writing this, they’ve literally just bought Moisés Caicedo, soooo… – could scupper that though. Manchester United will be taken to another level by André Onana, but where will the goals come from? I’m unconvinced Rasmus Højlund can carry that burden, and Marcus Rashford’s fitness is far from certain.

✈️ European contenders: Spurs, Chelsea, Newcastle, Aston Villa

Fairly self-explanatory. Ange Postecoglu’s appointment at Spurs is a very good one. Even with Harry Kane going, I anticipate that they’ll be able to string together some good winning runs, playing great football along the way, getting more out of their squad, even from its worst.

I’m a bit higher on Chelsea than most. The way they’re assembling their squad is very strange, but Mauricio Pochettino counts for a lot – he’ll be able to piece together something functional from the jumble on his table. Newcastle won’t be as frighteningly thunderous with the added assignment of Champions League football, and Villa will be a classic Unai Emery team. Good, nothing more.

⚠️ Relegation battlers: Crystal Palace, West Ham, Everton

As much as I like Palace and Uncle Roy, I’m a little worried about the composition of their squad. Losing a talisman like Wilfried Zaha is tough, and the temporary loss of Michael Olise through injury could become permanent by way of a transfer. Vicente Guaíta is playing up too. They’re a significant injury or two away from looking distinctly (below-)average across the board.

West Ham have a lot of work to do in the last weeks of the window; David Moyes is running it back with the most David Moyes recruitment possible, but will that work again? Everton will just about stay up through the virtues of Sean Dyche.

🔽 Relegated: Luton Town, Wolves, Sheffield United

I don’t think Luton will be the down-and-outers that most expect them to be. They’ll be tricky. Not tricky enough to stay up, but tricky enough to give it a go. Sheffield United’s summer would have been an interesting one if the heart of their team – Iliman Ndiaye and Sander Berge – hadn’t dropped out of their arse. And finally, Wolves are a mess, howling into the abyss.

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⭐ Player of the Year: Mohamed Salah

I predicted Mohamed Salah for this last season, then Liverpool went on to shit the bed a bit. But I’m sticking with him. I genuinely think people don’t fully appreciate just how good he is, particularly the other aspects of his game. His playmaking, for example, is easily one of the best in the league. Salah has the whole package. He’s (one of the best) in the weeeerld.

👼 Young Player of the Year: Bukayo Saka

With Haaland out of the equation due to our 2001 or later criteria, Bukayo Saka is the very obvious choice. He’s approaching that Salah standard of wide attacker, blessed with the same immense durability (*touches wood*), and he only turns 22 next month. 28-year-old Marcus Rashford will still win the PFA Young Player of the Year award, though.

🚀 Breakout player: Ben Doak

One of my favourites, Ben Doak has made the most of his minutes in pre-season. He can establish himself as the understudy for Salah, filling in when needed, and the Europa League presents the perfect opportunity for him to play games. Doak is a great little prospect.

🦶 Top goalscorer: Erling Braut Haaland

Massive freak. Similar to last season, not quite as potent, 30+ again. Need I say any more?

😎 Best signing: André Onana to Manchester United

Bit of a boring one, I know, but it’s a good one. As mentioned above, it’ll progress the team to the next stage in terms of what they want to do under Erik ten Hag. United have had a good window on the whole so far. 

Other candidates? Jurriën Timber to Arsenal, Nicolas Jackson to Chelsea, James Maddison to Spurs, stuff like that.

💰 Best-value signing: Milos Kerkez to Bournemouth

This is increasingly difficult because most Premier League transfer are £20 million or more now, but I think this is a really good one for a couple of reasons. Firstly, Kerkez suits the Premier League; secondly, Kerkez suits Andoni Iraola football. He has plenty to learn but should play a lot of minutes, and his skillset will catch people’s eye. I think €17 million will look like a bargain this time next year.

I wrote about it in more detail here. Vinícius Souza (and very possibly Gustavo Hamer) to Sheffield United for a combined £25 million is good too.

🤔 Most improved player: Pape Matar Sarr

Pape Matar Sarr will be like a new signing for Spurs. Marginalised by Antonio Conte, Big Ange – who has spoken very highly of him in recent weeks – will get the best out of him. He has the elite-level mobility and multi-functional skillset to be an all-action presence in Premier League midfields.

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❌ First manager to lose job: Marco Silva (Fulham)

Fulham drop off. Saudi Arabia come calling (again). That’s it.

😔 Disappointment of season: Sandro Tonali

The casual will expect grandiose things, but us big brains know that he isn’t what people think he is – he’s less Pirlo, more Gattuso. What he actually is suits what Newcastle do to a tee, but I struggle to see how he fits in optimally next to Bruno Guimarães. Dare I suggest that he’ll be back in Italy come the start of next season?

Disclaimer: being excited about this transfer, especially as a Newcastle fan, is very understandable. If we hop off our big brain chair for a minute and look at the deal for what it is, they’ve signed the 23-year-old captain from Champions League semi-finalists AC Milan. Still.

🤯 Bold prediction: 20+ goalscorer from nowhere

Not that bold, really, is it? But I can see someone like Taiwo Awoniyi from Nottingham Forest getting a big haul of goals, bursting out of relative obscurity.